As a firefighter spouse, I have experienced a lot of good and bad with the fire department. I have experienced great family-centered fire stations and not-so-great ones. I have also spent many hours talking with and listening to other spouses talk about their struggles. You know the ones. The struggles that you keep to yourself because you don’t want to burden your firefighter, who may also be struggling. The ones you don’t share with non-department friends and family who want to place blame instead of understanding how this whole thing works. Sometimes we just want to talk with someone who doesn’t need a complete explanation of the schedule or definitions of terminology because that is just too exhausting to do right now. I wanted those people too. The problem came when I didn’t have trusting relationships with other spouses or partners. I needed someone to talk to now, not months from now after I’ve formed a relationship. I’ve dreamed of this group for a long time, and then a few months ago, I spoke to a spouse who was struggling. We talked for a while, and then they said, “I thought I was the only person who felt that way.” That lit a fire under me (pun intended), and I started putting together a plan of how a group could be formed, operate, and grow. I presented the ideas to a few people, and they immediately wanted to be a part of it. This core group of volunteers and fire department employees have helped shape the group’s structure and willed it into existence. And that’s the story of how we got here.  

In the future, we will add blog posts from the Board sharing the stories of why they were drawn to this idea. We will also post helpful information about peer support and other helpful articles. It is my dream that this group becomes a place where everyone who wants a peer will connect with someone like them. Even though this group is not made up of mental health professionals, it can stand in the gaps of our current mental health care system. I am aware that we do not have enough mental health professionals for the amount of need and that care is incredibly expensive and not well covered by most insurance providers.

Being in relationship with a peer can fill the need of having someone who “gets it” without judgment. We want to be an intentional peer support group, not a group that falls into the hierarchy of one person being the helper for the other person in need. We want to see relationships form over mutuality with two people who are there to learn from each other in the process of creating that bond. I don’t want this to become a group that is only problem-focused. I want to see it as a way for people to know their goals and help each other move toward them. We have laid a foundation that attempts to create relational security through privacy standards for peer support caregivers and care receivers. We hope that through this, we can begin forming relationships before a crisis occurs.

Lastly, I wanted to encourage a revival of the fire department’s family bond. We hope to plan family-friendly events for the whole department. We also hope to promote more station-centric family events throughout the year so families can get to know each other better and form relationships. I hope that through this group and everyone who wants to volunteer or utilize it, IFD becomes the standard for excellence in its holistic care for each firefighter by supporting healthy relationships at work and home.